Talk:Karma Police (2)/@comment-5430754-20130322122102
I'm just so over everything and everyone. Okay so yesterday, I was initially going to go to this get-together with my sister and some of her friends at Buffalo Wild Wings, but I had already spent most of the day with her and she really just... I'm so done. A lot of things happened that I don't at all care to elaborate, but let's just say I was humiliated and disrespected in the worst possible way. At one point I was in the car looking at two pictures of myself side-by-side - one of me when I was eight years old and the happiest person out there, and one of me at 15, I couldn't even force myself to smile - then I pulled out a note, I really don't remember who wrote it, but it said "SMILE" in big letters with a bunch of smiley faces surrounding it, and I just broke down, because I can't. I'm not happy. So then my sister comes out into the car and said "What are you doing right now? What is this?" I showed her the pictures and said "do you not see anything wrong with this? These are two versions of the same person. I'm not me anymore, and none of you seem to give a single shit about how broken I really am." She said "Murphy... You exclude yourself from everyone and come out into the car to look at pictures? I don't get it. The way I see it, you choose to be negative. You think things are competely different than what they really are. There is nothing wrong with your life." I said "Yeah there really is, everything about my life is wrong, but I'm sure that's easy to tell someone from where you're standing. I'm not going to this dinner tonight, so have a great time" She said "You know what Murphy, I honestly don't get it. I try to talk to you and you just don't understand. You're confused and hopeless and delusional-" I cut her off and said " No, you know what, bitch? I'm none of those things. I'm Murphy fucking Howard and you officially know nothing about me, sister or not" and pulled the door shut. I just don't even know what the hell happened to my life. My family used to be perfectly fine and now they're totally toxic. I have no friends whatsoever at the moment - yeah, I talk to people online and on this wiki, but sorry, at the end of the day you know none of us are truly real friends by any proper definition, it's just not the same. I honestly don't think I could ever bring myself to commit suicide, but it's a wonder I haven't at this point. My life completely and utterly sucks. I hope this is all just part of some "greater plan" for me, because this is really getting ridiculous. I can never catch a break. I'm sure there are people here who scroll past posts like this and just think I'm whiny and annoying, I'm sorry if that's the way it comes off, but this wiki is the only site where I can freely vent about things like this. Please don't comment unless you have something meaningful to say.